Cert: 15 Runtime: 99 mins Director: Troy Nixey Cast: Katie Holmes, Guy Pearce and Bailee Madison
Come Play With Us
When Guillermo Del Toro puts his name on any film, I will always jump to see what he has created. Troy Nixey makes his directorial debut with the remake of Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark.Sally (Bailee Madison) is sent to live with her estranged father and his girlfriend at their new home. The father, Alex (Guy Pearce) has plans to spruce up the home with the help of his interior decorator girlfriend, Kim (Katie Holmes). The previous owner of the home was a famous painter who mysteriously disappeared. Alex’s daughter, Sally, soon discovers the cause of the painter’s disappearance.
You can always tell a good horror movie apart from a bad one. In a good one, there’s an abundance of creepy suspense and tension throughout. The suspense is believable, the tension has you on the edge of your seat from the first frame to the last, and furthermore, the big scare that’ll come every once in a blue moon is uncalled for, and effective, to point when it’s not cheaply done. But what’s even more Important that the characters are somewhat plausible.Unfortunately, Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark is not one of those.You know, I actually had not the slightest clue that this was a remake at all. In fact, much to my amazement, a look at the original movies page on IMDb and it has a huge fan base, apparently. I’m quite amazed, because I did not enjoy a single second of this boring sludge. Then again with it being a remake. I somewhat have the urge to find the original, because I’m curious to see if it really is that good.
Essentially here we have the story of a girl named Sally, who is cute as a button, but her acting is the equivalent of a wooden chair. I get the circumstances surrounding her character, but you’d have thought she put some more effort into it. She is pissed to be moving in with her asshat dad, played by Guy Pearce, who continues to suck at doing an American accent to the point where his acting is almost avant-garde, and Katie Holmes, whose acting is like a robot. The main reason were supposed to feel scared is because of her stupidity. Yah- huh. And the creatures terrorize the house, and they want her, and… Yeah.Raise your hand if you would have gotten spooked upon hearing the voices. Raise your hand if you would have just turned around and went upstairs. Raise your hand if you’d have taken the hint and would have just left them alone.The script is implausible, full of character stupidity, and just lame. The pacing is seriously awful. We get boring scene after boring scene of boring and unbelievable dialogs. Worse, the creatures are crap. They look like crosses between geckos and monkeys, in fact, is there a special effects category for the razzies? Because these really are worthy of it. Oh, and the ending…was HORRIBLE!3.5/10